Resophonic Guitar: Wait, you did say, “Dobro”, right?

 

His Right-Hand Technique:

Your ideal reso-picking reclining partner will utilize one thumb pick and two metal finger picks in his index and middle fingertips.  With an equal combination of rakes, pinches and rolls, he will make both his dobro and his dame moan and wail.  Take heed of the resonator guitarist who plays mostly in rolls.  Masquerading as a reso player is a common practice among banjo players who wish too look more esoteric and alluring.

 

His Right-Hand Technique:

Your bluegrass beau has two main choices on what type of slide to use.  Most players use a standard slide with grooves in the top and sides for the pickers thumb, index, and middle finger.  There isn’t much information to be gleaned from the use of this slide, as it is as common as missionary position.

The reso player’s other option is a lap steel slide.  This slide is shaped like a gleaming silver sausage and is only used by the rarest of these rare instrumentalists.  Noticeably more phallic, this slide offers a multitude of lewd alternate uses, but keep your eye out for any sort of bi-curiosity.  He is, after all, clutching a shining, vibrating, metal dildo.

 

His Axe:

As the most baffling and esoteric of all the bluegrass musicians, little is known about the resophonic guitarist’s tool of the trade.  Obviously Dobros and Scheerhorns are at the front of the pack, but generally if his reso sounds good, it is good.  If your hunk is playing an electric reso or one varnished with a blue, green, or red finish, he is a born comedian.  He may get freaky in the bedroom, but he is also bound to be willing to laugh at himself if he makes an erotic error.

 

(Dobro Disclaimer:

The Reso player is the newest addition to the bluegrass cannon of hotties, ergo they are rarer and more confusing than any of the other instrumentalists.  The titillating name of the instrument, the curves of its sides, the location on his body where it rests…Admit it, all these things have got you totally hot, but hold back your unbridled attraction and settle your thoughts for a moment.  The Dobro player is a man of mystery. He is one part country and he is one part bad boy.  This combination can be explosive in both positive and negative ways, so drop your plumbline in those still waters before you dive in headfirst and realize that they didn’t run quite so deep as you’d thought.)

Remember, Bluegrass Belles!  Though your knight with the shining Calton may be just around the corner, it pays to take in musical technique before testing out your harmonies in a tent, hotel room, or car trunk.  Happy Jamming!

-Anita Merkin