By Eden Forman
In a dance world of Sparkles and Glam, something should be said to those poor, poor girls much more often than ever is… Less is more! Irish dance all by itself is one of the most unsexy types of folk dance out there, other than maybe Dutch Folk dancing (seriously, clogs? Still?). I mean, who the fuck thought it would be attractive to make your body stiff as a two by four and fling your legs in the air? I hope I never find a guy who thinks rigor mortis is hot. So when you add the sparkles, glitter, plastic hair and screaming dance moms you might as well wear a sign that says “stay away from my whoohaa!” Now, a lot needs to be said for the athleticism of Irish dancers, what man wouldn’t want a roll around with a toned and svelte dancer!? But, the glitter vomit version of the catholic school girl outfit is… well it just is…
Now, anyone acquainted with the Irish Dance world will be saying, “Hey, Riverdance was pretty hot!” And while no one will disagree that Michael Flatly was the epitome of sexy in the early 90’s now a days Lord of the Dance is just overly glamified discotech de la noche with an S&M fueled undertone, set to Irish music of course.
Unfortunately, Riverdance also took a turn for the ‘what the fuck?’ after the uber sexy Jean Butler left. Now, that’s how to make Irish dance sexy. Class and grace while still putting on a flashy dance show, not easy to do!
But, these days Riverdance’s leading ladies are forced to wear Halloween sexy fairy costumes while attempting to steal our hearts once more. Not a look I recommend… ever.
So, what do you wear? When dressing for a performance a girl should keep it simple and classy. Let your inner Jean Butler grace the stage. Be sexy, don’t be flashy. It is more than ok to show some leg, hell you’ve worked hard on those gams! Show ‘em off! But please leave the green velvet at home. Be unexpected, try a flashy red dress or a neutral number with a flirty swing to it.
At the competitions try and remember, “Less is more!” Sparkles and glitter can be fun, but our retnas can only handle so much. It can be hard to find dresses with a little less glitz, but if you’re spending $3,000 on a competition dress, God damn it, you should get what you want! And nothing screams “I’m much more relaxed than these bitches!” than ditching the wig. Curl your own hair if you love the perm look, or shock the judges by standing out with long hair with just a soft curl at the end. Stand out by NOT wearing neon-orange and rhinestones, you might walk away with a hunky whistle player or couple awards. Either way, it’s a win!